I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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