Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize