are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
