your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
