I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
