Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize