WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
