I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
