I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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