I will die if light touches me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
COCAINE IS GR8
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
