just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
