Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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