things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Sacagawea was the original milf.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
