coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
