Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
