Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
