It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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