sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize