Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
