Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
