And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
