I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
