what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
