Tell her she can't have a vagina
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
