haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
