I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
