As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
