My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I love having hate sex.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
