If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
