You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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