i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
