Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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