What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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