as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
