forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
