i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
