remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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