You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
