Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
