My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
