Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
