just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
