I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
