I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize