I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
