you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
