My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize