I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just pee around me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
