Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
