I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
