He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
