you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
