If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
