She said her name was "party"
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
