dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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