She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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