Don't you send me to vm
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
