so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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