Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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