Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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