I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
