he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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